Are you sure?

This is for those with beating hearts who say they have never been in love. (Because, you see, I don’t know that I believe you.)

I heard the words come from your mouth. They came rolling out as fact, which was odd to me because I saw you smiling, bent over in roaring laughter about an hour ago in the coffee house.

Today is the day you told me you’d never been in love.

& if, for some seemingly-impossible reason, that is true, then okay. I believe you. & I think you should stop reading here.


If for some equally seemingly-impossible reason, you are curious as to why I’m challenging your truth, then I would like to ask you if you are sure.

Are you?


The reason I ask is not because I think you’re lying. I just think, perhaps, you may be missing the truth.

So, if you will, allow me to ask you some questions.

On one of those “this weather is too perfect” days, have you ever been to the peak of a mountain? Have you ever held a tiny heart (a little baby) or heard a young child laugh? Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just want to get. it. done. & finished that thing that has been weighing on you? What about randomly deciding that you need to see the ocean & actually going to see the ocean? Or hugging them so so tight when they come home from a time that was too long?

Did you feel it? Did you feel that overwhelming, “This is the world I live in (!!!)” rush of emotion?

Or how about this: Have you ever gone through the motions (& only the motions) of a day? Have you ever sat on that itchy paper in the doctor’s office, & looked to the wall as they gave you a shot that was “guaranteed to prevent *insert it here*?” Have you ever showed up to something, not because you wanted to, but because they wanted you to?

Did you feel it? Did you feel that overwhelming, “This is the world I live in (…)” rush of emotion?

What about these: Have you ever lost something that you desperately want to be found? Have you ever said goodbye to a pet? Have you made a phone call, expecting to catch up, but instead, heard the sniffled voice of a person who’s been crying? Or maybe you walked into a room with the casket of a person you hugged the week before?

Did you feel it? Did you feel that overwhelming, “This is the world I live in (???)” rush of emotion?


My point here (& thank you, by the way, for making it here.) is this: if you have ever encountered !!! or … or ???, then I think I would like for you to consider the fact that you just may have been in love.

Because, you see, the Earth was made for you to take in- be it in one fresh-picked daisy or one cloudless, endless, expansive view. New life is created to be cultivated and developed by life that has been here a while (you). Friendship and family were made because you’re weren’t made to do it alone.

Some days are hard but you do them anyway so that you can see tomorrow (maybe it will be better). You accept that doctors treat you how they see fit because you have the hope of making it to the (perhaps better) tomorrow or next week or ten years. You go because you know they’ll be looking for you in the crowded room.

You want to find it because you miss what it did in your life. You feel shocked because it has been a while since you heard them cry. & like the thing you miss, you miss them but, oh, so much more, & you wonder why it is that you have to hold on to the now unused dog bowl or see the flowers by the road every time you drive by.


If I haven’t made sense yet, hold on. Let me try again.

If you have the capacity to feel elation, joy, passion, heartache, sorrow, heartbreak for some moment, some thing, or someone, then you have been in love.

& all of those things- the !!!, the …, the ???- are pieces of the ever-moving, ever-changing, ever-growing process of being in love.

Because it’s not just one person that we were made to fall in love with. No, love, it’s so much of the world.

You & I, you see, were made to look at vast, expansive mountains or seas & stand in awe of all the s p a c e  we have to grow. We were made to take to take care of ourselves. We were made to honor our commitments. We were crafted, created to give our pets, our friends, our family as much of us as we can, &, if it comes to it, we were made to say goodbye and miss them.

That’s what love is, & that’s why I couldn’t believe you when I heard the words fall from your mouth.


Your expectation of falling in love and the cue cards the world gives you about love won’t look the same as your life but that does not mean you have never been in love.

Love is so vast, so expansive, so encompassing, that (please please believe these words) no one person could ever experience them all. But that doesn’t mean you can’t experience exactly what you need.


So, maybe (just maybe), rethink. &, oh, how I can’t wait to hear you say it: “You, know, I think maybe (just maybe) I have, in fact, been in love.”

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