y=x, where y=total worth per human life & x=the sum of many variables on which no one can agree
To exist is not an honor for which most of us ask. In fact, most of us cannot remember the first while in the timeline of existing. Learning to move, learning to swallow, learning to utilize communication to acquire needs are all (for the most of us) pieces of existing that we don’t remember learning but are, nonetheless, expected to do.
It is not until the traumas, the elations, the heightened senses after our primitive stages that we are gifted with remembering. It is not until we learn why we don’t touch the open flame, until we first eat dessert, until we’re told “no” that we begin to etch these experiences in our brains.
It is the brain that houses the invisibilities of experience- the rushing emotions, the memory of senses. At times, our bodies house scars. But mostly, it’s the brain’s work.
So we begin to define ourselves. Individuals given the ability to remember become cold to certain pieces of the world, curious to others, and sensitive to those pieces where we find passion, fun, love- the good stuff.
& it all seems quite simple…
…until we stand beside someone else.
It turns out that as the individual is brought into existence, as they mold themselves from the experiences they are given, as they decide who they will be, other people do it, too.
Written down, stopping there, the process doesn’t hurt, doesn’t cause anyone to hide. So where is the missing variable for pain?
I tend to be of the opinion that the process of one human becoming themselves, finding themselves, changing themselves is an incomprehensible value. I also tend to be of the opinion that is how it’s supposed to be- this beautiful, messy, impossible-to-understand, never-ending gift.
But as I go about living, I wonder just how many someones value other someones.
It appears as though people count the number of books you’ve read or the state of your wardrobe or the number on the scale when compared to his numbers & her stats as variables that subtract from the value of you.
Broken by your family? Subtract 7. Self-conscious in your weaknesses? Subtract 11. She’s done more. Subtract 5.
It builds. It hurts, & soon the equation is a disheartening:
y=x-7-1-5-(the flaws you’ll begin to invent in yourself)
Perhaps the world is wrong…
…because valuing a human life never comes wrapped in oppression, negativity, or pain. Valuing a human life is a raw, truthful, transparent package that vibrantly traces the walk of a person and says, “Yes. YES. Keep digging. Keep discovering. Absolutely go for it!”
We are so lucky. We are so so lucky. Oh, my. How lucky we are that we don’t have to do this alone.
Leaving your fellow human feeling alone is leaving your fellow human without love. It’s failing at giving value to the human life (not theirs-yours).
You see, we are given existence. We don’t ask for it. Without remembering, we accept learning the process of opening our eyes, of growing pain, of breathing. We begin learning processes that we remember and begin accepting the pieces that make us grow to be better, bolder. Accepting the trap of comparing journeys as a piece of the world does not bear fruit of any kind.
It’s not our job to define any other person’s worth on this planet. Living on this planet, growing up here will be hard enough without our teammates blurring the goal of self-discovery.
Perhaps focusing on your value will allow you to see others- just a theory (I’m not really a mathematician.)
y=x, where y= total worth per human life and x=an infinite sum that cannot be determined but given at the gift of existence